The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
