Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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