Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize