just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
