I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
