Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
