is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
