Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
