she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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