So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize