By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
