It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
