Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
