After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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