I bet he comes in French.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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