Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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