When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
