Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
