dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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