yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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