I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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