no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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