Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
