did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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