he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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