My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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