So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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