well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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