Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
