So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
