how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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