No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
