Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
