i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
