Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
