We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
