So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
