Soap is not a condiment
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
