ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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