I could have mohawked her pubes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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