evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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