Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
