I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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