Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
