I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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