What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
