dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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