too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
