can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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