i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
