Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
