i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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