My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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