Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In other news, I just burned my penis
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
