lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
