Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
