He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
