Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i think i have herpe
just one?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
