can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
