Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
