yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
