24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
why do cheetos always look like penises
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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