Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
