how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
