Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
