you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When are your genitals available?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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