so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
