i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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