Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
